Marriage is never like fairy tales. Once you say, “I do,” no one rides off into the sunset for a “happily ever after.” Instead, you get down to the business of making a life as a couple or a family. No one gets married expecting the relationship to end. And if it does, it can be devastating. But an amicable relationship can make the entire process easier for you and your family. How do you get to that point? In this post, we'll talk about two key tips you can use to make your marriage, or your divorce, work for both of you.

1. Know Thyself

Becoming more self-aware can improve all your relationships, but it's especially helpful for your intimate relationships. Think about the last time you had an emotional or angry reaction to something your spouse or ex said or did. Was your reaction out of proportion to the situation? If so, your reaction might be about something more than a dispute over who was supposed to do the dishes.

According to couples therapist Jessi Leader and the parenting website Fatherly, you can build self-awareness and learn a lot about yourself by thinking about how your family showed love, safety, and respect. Because we learn from our earliest models, we can learn a great deal about our current relationships by examining how we may be repeating those childhood relationships. 

2. Know Thy Spouse

But building a relationship of mutual respect doesn't end with self-awareness. You may also have to think more deeply about your partner or ex. You can probably guess some things you know will trigger them to have an emotional reaction. You may even be able to guess how their early relationships and family led to those reactions. Once you can dispassionately understand where your and your partner's reactions are coming from, it can be easier to step back and intentionally adopt new and more productive reactions. 

You Need an Experienced North Carolina Family Lawyer

If you're facing a divorce or separation or contemplating one in the future, you need skilled legal guidance as soon as possible. Call Jerkins Family Law at 919-719-2785 or contact us online. When you need an experienced family law attorney, we can help.