So many first holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays can be difficult after a divorce. Even if your marriage is in trouble, as Marie says in the movie When Harry Met Sally, “you were a couple. You were together. You had someone to go places with. You had a date on national holidays.” So, when you're staring down your first holiday season alone, things can be rough. But there are some steps you can take to make things a little easier.
Start New Traditions
Maybe you and your ex would go out to the woods and cut down a Christmas tree yearly. Or maybe you always had the best matching couple's costume for Halloween. It can be hard to let go of the traditions you shared with another person. But divorce is a great time to start a new tradition. Take a vacation with a friend. Take the kids to look for a tree and decorate it together with new ornaments. Host the Halloween party this year. Starting new traditions can make you feel less lonely over major holidays.
Don't go into a holiday after your divorce, assuming you'll “play it by ear.” Make plans to spend Thanksgiving dinner with friends. Ask people over for New Year's or the Superbowl. Plan Valentine's dinner for your single friends. Make plans to distract yourself and ensure you aren't alone if you don't want to be. But if you know you'll need time alone, plan that as well. Line up some great movies and snack food, pick up some ice cream and have a good cry if that's what you need.
Set Realistic Expectations
Don't go into a new holiday after the divorce expecting to feel amazing, find new love, and completely forget about what you've lost. Instead, set realistic expectations for yourself. It's OK to be sad or lonely. But set a goal for yourself to get up and go out and do something after you've taken some time to grieve.
You Need an Experienced North Carolina Family Lawyer
Facing a divorce or separation is never easy, but you shouldn't go through the legal process alone. You need a skilled North Caroline family lawyer to provide advice and options along the way. Call Jerkins Family Law at 919-719-2785 or contact us online.